Lee Jones: Suicide is disappearing people from the poker community

Poker, as a community, has an obligation to ourselves and to our fellow players to be alert, be watchful, and not let somebody slip through the cracks… Poker, as a community, has an obligation to ourselves and to our fellow players to be alert, be watchful, and not let somebody slip through the cracks… Lee Jones Posted on: August 25, 2024 05:49 PDTLink copied

Chad Holloway at Poker News has written an excellent article about suicide, including noting that September is Suicide Awareness month. Please read it too. This is bigger than PokerOrg and Poker News. Thanks.

I still miss Andy Glazer.

Andy was one of the brightest and best writers that poker ever had – a giant of a guy who had given up a legal career to cover poker tournaments for Card Player and other outlets. He passed away 20 years ago, almost to the penny, in July of 2004.

Wait, let me say that in English: In July of 2004, Andy Glazer, beset by depression, committed suicide.

The ‘official’ notices, such as there were, said he died of a blood clot (his Wiki entry still says that). But his close friends knew the actual cause, and one of them broadcast it to the community – Andy had taken his own life.

I’m tired of the cover-up

In the 35 years that I’ve been closely involved in the poker community, I’ve lost track of the number of poker professionals and semi-pros we’ve lost to suicide. So often, we’re not even sure it’s suicide because there’s still a stigma around it, and families don’t publicize it.

If one of ours dies of cancer, there are fundraisers and memorial charity tournaments (remember Chad Brown?). But when a poker player commits suicide, we don’t discuss it. A precious life is erased but we’re unwilling to talk about why or see if some enlightenment can come from the tragedy.

Time for a frank conversation

You probably (thankfully) aren’t old enough to remember, but for the longest time, women wouldn’t discuss having (whisper) breast cancer. Only in the 1970s, when American First Lady Betty Ford opened up about her breast cancer diagnosis did women feel free to openly discuss it. Now, people talk about breast cancer just as they would the flu – it is a disease that you treat and combat.

The difference between suicide and breast cancer is that suicide is more preventable, which makes it all the more infuriating that we don’t talk about it openly.

And goodness knows that the poker community has more than usual cause to talk about suicide. From this NIH report:

• Suicide is the second leading cause of death among Americans between the ages of 25-34 (ahead of homicide and Covid).
• In 2021, the suicide rate among males was four times higher than among females.
• Social isolation is very likely a potential suicide risk factor (see this NIH report).

Okay, males 25-34, who often experience social isolation. Does any of this sound familiar?

People in your poker circle are at risk

The NIH report that I originally referenced says that “5.2% of adults aged 18 and older in the United States had serious thoughts about suicide in 2022.” Look around your 500-player tournament field – 25 of them had serious thoughts about suicide in the last year.

Furthermore, I’m willing to bet that it’s actually higher within the poker community. Our game, great as it is, can be an isolating, stressful existence, particularly if you’re doing it professionally. If you play online, it’s possible to sit in your room for days – weeks – on end, without leaving. Delivery services bring the world to you, and the Internet brings your ‘job’ to you. It’s a formula for real trouble if you’re subject to depression or other mental health issues.

Furthermore, the ‘degen’ lifestyle is a badge of honor in some pockets of the poker sphere. Bouncing off the rails with gambling and/or substance abuse is sometimes normalized in a world where we routinely wager amounts of money that are absurd by “IRL” standards.

Look after your fellow players, look after yourself

NIH has an excellent one-page guide called “Warning signs of Suicide.” Go spend two minutes with it and see if this looks like somebody you know. Or, importantly, like you may be looking in a mirror.

Warning signs of suicide There are dozens of resources available to people who are having suicidal thoughts. Be aware of them.

• Call or text 988
• Text HELLO to 741741
• Chat at 988lifeline.org
• In the UK: 0800 689 5652

Poker is an extraordinary game, and I’m proud to be part of it. But it has dark corners and traps that can draw in people most vulnerable to suicide. We, as a community, have an obligation to ourselves and to our fellow players to be alert, be watchful, and not let somebody slip through the cracks.

Andy Glazer died 20 years ago, and I think about his empty chair at Thanksgivings, family reunions, and weddings. How it must be a knife through the heart of the people closest to him every time there’s a gathering. And how his loved ones must wonder, almost daily, what they might have done to keep him here, being Andy.

It wasn’t just Andy. We lost Brandi Hawbaker to suicide in 2008. It’s still happening. We’re still losing members of our community to suicide, but nobody is talking about it.

No more silence. No more cover-up. Let’s shine a light on this series of tragedies that stalks the poker world and save lives of people around us. Maybe we save your life.

Thanks for reading.

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